So as you know i was telling you about my family so I want to finish that blog.

I want to introduce you to the wonderful family that has supported me and raised me to be who I am today. This would be my one and only family which consitsts of lets start with my mom

My mother is a beautiful woman who worked super hard so that me and my sister could have the things we needed in life. At times she had to work mutlitple jobs so that we could survive. My mom is a red head which if you look at my girls they look just like thier grandma. My mom was such a dedicated mother even though her and I don't see eye to eye at times she is a remarkable person. She has always been such a hard worker I think that is where I have gotten my work ethic skills from. We always did fun things growing up, and when we had something going on no matter how busy my moms life was with work she always made sure she put us kids first. She is loving and kind and definately a outdoorsy lady.

My father the one who hardly was around, well when I did and do see him he is certain to let you know he does love you. He is very strict and always seems to have a smile on his face.

My Oldest sister is a dedicated mother she is so loving and outgoing. She also like my mom when she wants something she goes for it and gets it. She is a hard worker and always there when u need her.

So I am gonna stop there and tell you more tomorrow.

So, Today is my day off and I am pausing to look back on what my life is and how i have lived it, I know I am not perfect Lord only knows none of us are. I have learned so much as I have gotten older, I have became such a wonderful person with a hard shell on the outside but so full of love on the inside. From now on I am just relaxing and living everyday with fun and adventure, I love my life and whatI have became. I have wonderful friends and family and such amazing children so I now never going to look back on things but just to continue to the future.

So as you all know I have been breaking down my family and what they mean to me. I got a phone call and didn't realize what I put would upset someone. Mom seriously I'm sorry if you were hurt by my blog I didn't mean that you were not my family I was just putting that I have a big family such as my biological family which consits of my mother and father and my sister. Then I have a Step family that consists of 3 sisters and my stepmom. So before I go any further just to let you know I just wasn't finished writing so I apologize to my family that got all hurt but if you would have waited before you freaked out on me I would have explained why I put my biological family. Anyways that is that you all hear me IM Sorry for upsetting you there now moving on.

It starts with you............

So i am sure that a few of you who know me and read my blog know that I cut hair for a living. What a wonderful blessing it is to make someone feel absolutely great about themselves when they leave my chair. So yesterday I worked and what a challenging day, everyday I realize how amazing people are, how love and compassionate some people are. I went to work and never knowing what you get my first client was a autistic kid, he comes in often and is super challenging to cut nevertheless I love when he comes in. He is always scared and unsure about getting his haircut. So as a mother my little mommy gears start to work on calming this precious child down explaining to him I won't hurt him Im just going to cut his hair as I always do. He calms down and actually does really well until the last bit of the haircut. So then I must do the outline and help him stay calm. I tend to wonder and think if everyone had compassion to treat others with calmness and love what a better world we would be in. If I would have approached him in a different way he would have been horrified but with a little love and some coaxing we completed his cut.
          So not long after that a young girl about a year older then the first also autistic came in, and since I love kids anyways and enjoy them I took her straight back. This little girl was more of a challenge one because I never cut her before. She cried off and on and I just kept reasurring her that all would be well. Then I began to sing to her something I do for my children a lot when they get frightened not sure why I did I just decided to try it out. This worked she calmed straight down and we finished the cut with not problem.
          So why do I tell you about these 2 children who are so fearful of just getting a simple haircut. It makes me think how amazing these parents are to these wonderful children, and have all the patients in the world to help take on these special gifts of God. If everyone could see the love these parents have and the overwhelming compassion in there hearts, it makes you realize that there is great, kind and loving people still in this world.
        What happened to people, why has our world become so full of hate? why now if someone broke down everyone will just drive on by? I think if people would be more caring towards one another like in the old days our world would be a better place to live in.
                So have you ever watched the movie  Pay it forward, I think if you took your time out and did one nice thing for someone everyday and them do one nice thing to someone else we would have less mean people in this world. If we all stood up and helped the neighbor next to you who then helped that neighbor and in the long run it would reach everyone in the world. This is what I am getting at our world is so full of hate and violence, look at your children do you want them growing up in a world full of hate or to grow up in a world full of love. It starts here and now you can make a difference actually the reality is everyone can make a difference. Start with a simple smile towards a stranger, even opening the door for someone. Trust me the world would be a better place if we all just lended a helping hand to others.

So I have been so blessed to have so many friends in my life, and I introduced you to some of them,

Like Misty she is one of a kind a gal who always has a smile and I never tend to ever have a dual moment with, she is such a dedicated mother and she is one you can look at and know what a true friend she will always be. Theres Panther who I have not really known for long but is a great gal. Krista she is a ball of fire haven't really talked to her much but she is my dancing partner, and my really good friend I love her to death, and there are many more, I have been blessed with so many friends, and please to those that I have not mentioned don't think for a second that you are less important because you all mean so much to me.

       So growing up I have been bleseed to have a family that yes no matter how mad at them I get they are my family. I have been blessed to have many parents, My mom and she remarried and her husband, then my dad and his x wife. I have all sisters growing up and now I have 1 brother to. So I have a older sister who has a daughter and it's such a joy to have a niece she is such a doll. Then all the other sisters are younger and still figuring out life. I have 1 brother who is also young and figuring out life.

        So what is family and what should it look like????? I tend to ponder about these things often, when I was young my mother and father divorced. I always felt growing up that I just never tended to fit in, one day my friend told me why when we grow up we don't remember some of our childhood. I tended to ponder this, then I realized that its due to bad things that happened that we tend to block it out. My mom was a hard working woman who did what she thought was right. Then there is my father one who was never there nor did he even exist, yes he came around unless he needed to show us off. What father would abandon the children you created and not worry wether they were being taken care of properly. I have learned a lot growing up I had so much built anger I started to let go and forgive those that hurt me in my family, the bad things in my life has made me who I am.
        Now I have chosen a path that half my family is not so cool with and the other half who is sticking by my side. I finally came out to my family about me being a lesbian and of course they all had thier own opinion about it. I have struggled about family and what should it look like???  So back to that same question, family should be there to support you and be with you, they should not be the ones to knock you down but be there to pick you up and dust you off.
         So who is my family I would like to tell you, My family who I love dearly is my family but I want to introduce you to the ones that are with me everyday the ones that have held me when my heart got broken, the ones that take care of me when I am sick.
          So to my family this is who they are the ones that live near me....

      So let me introduce u to Damian, Dj is what we call him for short he is a rambuncious 10 year old with full of love, he tends to be overly loving at times but such a caring man. I wake up everyday and this little man is the first one to hug and me and tell me how wonderful I am, how beautiful I look, and that I am the best mom he has ever had. He brings tears to my eyes with a overwhelming love.

                        
             Anna, we call her banana head for short she is one of a kind, she is my little princess, she loves to give you her opinion wether you want it or not, she loves to  hug you and I call her my mini mom she is the first to be there if your hurt or crying. This little lady is one of a kind and such a loving child who warms my heart and soul in so many ways. My daughter has been there for me thru a lot of heartbreaks and she is there when I tear up and cry she will be the first one to tell me MOMMY IT WILL BE OK, and continue to say that she loves me. I look at her and all my children and realize things will be ok because I have them.

         So the following two children are twins, such an unbelieveable gift. Karina is the oldest by 13 minutes and her birth is one I share often but follow my page and I am sure I will let you know all about it. Karina is my stubborn child, she is full of energy we call her Duckie, this little girl is my comedian she will make you love her from the moment u meet her. She is always up to no good but her innocence and the way she looks at you will make you just sigh. This little girl also is a lover she loves being on your lap and enjoys everything about life. I tend to look at her and realize how easy life is if you just enjoy it like a child.

So last but not least would be my baby the yougest of my children Esmeralda, she has many nicknames
Tidbit being one of them, we call her Emma for short this little one is very quite and timid but don't let her shyness fool you, once you really meet her she will show her true side, she is caring and vary compassionate, this little lady is always happy, her birth also is one to tell but that will be in another blog. Emma shows you how innocent life is, if you can't say anything look at the eyes of your children they will show you what life should look like. This baby of mine loves to be held, she is so loving and so calm about everything. Fits yes this little one has them but her cries are so tiny u can't quite tell she is crying.

Kat and Gloria what a pare they are so funny and ones that make the days full of adventure, they are there to pick you up or pop u in the head if you are doing wrong. They are ones to let you know they miss you and tell you that they love you. I appreciate the kind hearts each of these ladies have. These girls are my back bone they are there for me always.

Sharry would be my next friend she won't allow me to take pics of her but never the less she has been there to help me out when I truly needed that shoulder to cry on. I love the fun and adventures we get into and we are definately 2 of a kind.

Kristi and Angel well these girls are so outgoing u never know what will happen when they are around. I tend to think these to balance eachother out.

Becky Becky Becky, well she knows what she wants in her life and is definately a great listener, she is one that will tell you exactly how she feels and wants. I am truly amazed how much we get along its always a great time when I'm with her.  A blast to be around and so ennergetic.

So don't think for a second that I am done but I must stop here on this page I have many more friends that are my family to tell you about and then I will tell more about my biological family. Everyone have a great day but I must go to work.

How your past haunts your future......

  So as I have lived my life I realize that things in life may be a struggle from time to time but it's what you make of it that makes it all worth it. So I have been in such a abussive relationship in my past sometimes we really never realize how are past tends to haunt our future, wether it be our childhood or our relationships we were in.
   One day my ex partner told me I was far to quiet for her, this person I fell in love with normally I am one to put all my guards up and never faulter from it, so anybody believe in love of first sight I know I didn't I never believed that there was such a thing till I me her.
    I believe all things happen for a reason, and she was brought into my life so that I can feel what it truly is like to be completely loved unconditionally. It was like the movies that butterflie in the stomach where you can hardly move, or talk kind of thing. So I couldn't ever realize why I was so quiet when I was around her, till after we broke it off. As hard as it was to be crushed it helped me search more deeply and realize what it was that made me shut down when I was with her.
    So one day I went out with a friend and a fight broke out I curled up and started crying and shaking terribly, didn't realize that this had to do with the abuse I had endured. Then It made me realize that my past has effected the way I live my future wether I wanted it to or not. So this made me take time out and search deep within, it made me look back on my past and help me fix what I endured. It made me finally face reality, we are all never perfect but if we continue to just pushing through things that bother us or hurt us, it will haunt you in your future.  So you must face reality and don't shove it aside, nip it in the butt and forgive those that have hurt you this will one make you stronger but make life so much more peaceful.
You never know when time will be taken from you so if you just enjoy life everyday and appreciate it you will have a more uplifting time.
    

Intro of me

     I am a mother of four wonderful children. So a little bit about my life, I am a dedicated mother and a hard worker. I have learned that life is what you make of it, by many trials and tribulations I have struggled to make my life successful. I went to trade school and worked so that I can make a better life for my children. I continue to strive to be better at all I do.
     I learned growing up things were never handed to you, you must work hard if you want to be successful. This is so true in so many ways. Take a relationship if you don't work at it, it will fall apart and struggle, this also is true about a job, and just life in general.