New Beginings.....

      As I have gotten older I sure have learned a lot about myself, I have learned that living my life for me is ok and its ok to be who I am no matter what anyone thinks even if its the ones u love. I have came out a few years ago to people that I am a lesbian, and ever since I have lived my life for me. I am actually the happiest I have been in a long time.
       I have grown so much in my life, I have learned that I must love myself before I can learn to allow anyone else to love me. I have been ran through the wringer in my life and had some mighty huge storms I had to go through, but I have surcummed them all. I have stayed strong.
         I have met the most amazing woman in my life who has showed me to forgive the people who have hurt me in my past and forget those awful things. To no longer be the victim but to be the survivor. I have washed away the pain and now will no longer allow myself to be the victim.
         My life is so amazing now Becky whome is my fiance has showed me a new side of me I am the happiest I have been in a long time. She makes me want to be the best person I can be. It's amazing to feel the love she has for me. I feel so lucky that I get to wake up everyday to her by myside. No matter what we go through the one thing we both know is that we have eachother to stand by our side.
          As a lesbian couple we have many obstacles to go through wether it be making a child or just working in the community, and even just plainly getting married. But no matter what leads in our future we will prevale together.

My best friend and lover

It's been a while since I have been on here, wow how time flies even when u don't want it to. Sometimes i wonder why everyone is always on the go have u ever just stopped and looked up at the sky, or stopped to smell the flowers, or how about just stopped to admire the one u love.
I have finally found unconditional love, and I have fallen madly in love with this wonderful woman. How can it be that i have had such rough times in my life, I always believe everything happens for a reason and I am truly happy that all that i have went through has lead me to this woman.
I stop to ponder what it is that I admire and love about her, How she is so blunt with me and oh boy it sometimes makes me frustrated but I love it, I love the way she gazes into my eyes, the way she softly kisses me, its the way she tells me everyday even on a day im ill and don't look my best but tell me how stunning and beautiful I look, I love that she is always there for me to comfort me and help pick me up when i fall, I love that know matter what she is there and I can count on her.

I know that she will always be there for me to make me smile when i am sad, to sooth me when i feel like my world is falling. I never thought I would find someone who loves me so much and too know that I love her back the same way. She is my best friend, my lover, the one i can lean on, and count on no matter what, she is my soul mate, I am truly happy I feel like im the richest woman in the world to have such an amazing partner.

Never to late to fall in Love.

My life has changed in so many ways.. I had believed that falling in love was never going to happen to me, especially me falling in love with them and them in return falling in love with me. I always remember the saying that has always stuck in my head the best person to fall in love with is your best friend. Can it be possible to fall in love with your friend and them in return to fall in love with you to? Is it destiny things happen and they then bring u together? Many questions bring into my mind can it be both? In my experience things happen for a reason we never know why or what that reasoning is but it happens. I have fallen in love with the most amazing woman in the world, one who loves me for me even with all my wrong doings. I have for so long sheltered myself and put myself on the back burner. But it was when I had given up and quit looking that love found me. But its true destiny happens and u can fall for your best friend, that was my experience. Becky has been my friend for quite a while and when she is around she warms my heart, I feel like fireworks are exploding every time she is near. I feel like shouting everyday I'm in love with Becky lol. Love does crazy things to you but it also completes you and makes u feel whole. I have been through so much and without any hesitation she has stuck by my side and has loved me. I look at my life and think how blessed I am to have her in my life. She warms my heart and soul, and I know feel complete. I feel like I have found my one and only true love and soul mate. When I look at her, all i can think of is how much I truly love her and how she is the other half of me. She is my sun on a cloudy day, my tear in my eyes, she is the peace amongst a war, she is my shield that protects me, she is the moon that lights up the night, and I just am glad to have a girl who I need and want to be with for the rest of my life. I hope that everyone can find true love, and feel as complete as I am feeling. <3


So I would like to show u my girl.

So as you know i was telling you about my family so I want to finish that blog.

I want to introduce you to the wonderful family that has supported me and raised me to be who I am today. This would be my one and only family which consitsts of lets start with my mom

My mother is a beautiful woman who worked super hard so that me and my sister could have the things we needed in life. At times she had to work mutlitple jobs so that we could survive. My mom is a red head which if you look at my girls they look just like thier grandma. My mom was such a dedicated mother even though her and I don't see eye to eye at times she is a remarkable person. She has always been such a hard worker I think that is where I have gotten my work ethic skills from. We always did fun things growing up, and when we had something going on no matter how busy my moms life was with work she always made sure she put us kids first. She is loving and kind and definately a outdoorsy lady.

My father the one who hardly was around, well when I did and do see him he is certain to let you know he does love you. He is very strict and always seems to have a smile on his face.

My Oldest sister is a dedicated mother she is so loving and outgoing. She also like my mom when she wants something she goes for it and gets it. She is a hard worker and always there when u need her.

So I am gonna stop there and tell you more tomorrow.

So, Today is my day off and I am pausing to look back on what my life is and how i have lived it, I know I am not perfect Lord only knows none of us are. I have learned so much as I have gotten older, I have became such a wonderful person with a hard shell on the outside but so full of love on the inside. From now on I am just relaxing and living everyday with fun and adventure, I love my life and whatI have became. I have wonderful friends and family and such amazing children so I now never going to look back on things but just to continue to the future.

So as you all know I have been breaking down my family and what they mean to me. I got a phone call and didn't realize what I put would upset someone. Mom seriously I'm sorry if you were hurt by my blog I didn't mean that you were not my family I was just putting that I have a big family such as my biological family which consits of my mother and father and my sister. Then I have a Step family that consists of 3 sisters and my stepmom. So before I go any further just to let you know I just wasn't finished writing so I apologize to my family that got all hurt but if you would have waited before you freaked out on me I would have explained why I put my biological family. Anyways that is that you all hear me IM Sorry for upsetting you there now moving on.

It starts with you............

So i am sure that a few of you who know me and read my blog know that I cut hair for a living. What a wonderful blessing it is to make someone feel absolutely great about themselves when they leave my chair. So yesterday I worked and what a challenging day, everyday I realize how amazing people are, how love and compassionate some people are. I went to work and never knowing what you get my first client was a autistic kid, he comes in often and is super challenging to cut nevertheless I love when he comes in. He is always scared and unsure about getting his haircut. So as a mother my little mommy gears start to work on calming this precious child down explaining to him I won't hurt him Im just going to cut his hair as I always do. He calms down and actually does really well until the last bit of the haircut. So then I must do the outline and help him stay calm. I tend to wonder and think if everyone had compassion to treat others with calmness and love what a better world we would be in. If I would have approached him in a different way he would have been horrified but with a little love and some coaxing we completed his cut.
          So not long after that a young girl about a year older then the first also autistic came in, and since I love kids anyways and enjoy them I took her straight back. This little girl was more of a challenge one because I never cut her before. She cried off and on and I just kept reasurring her that all would be well. Then I began to sing to her something I do for my children a lot when they get frightened not sure why I did I just decided to try it out. This worked she calmed straight down and we finished the cut with not problem.
          So why do I tell you about these 2 children who are so fearful of just getting a simple haircut. It makes me think how amazing these parents are to these wonderful children, and have all the patients in the world to help take on these special gifts of God. If everyone could see the love these parents have and the overwhelming compassion in there hearts, it makes you realize that there is great, kind and loving people still in this world.
        What happened to people, why has our world become so full of hate? why now if someone broke down everyone will just drive on by? I think if people would be more caring towards one another like in the old days our world would be a better place to live in.
                So have you ever watched the movie  Pay it forward, I think if you took your time out and did one nice thing for someone everyday and them do one nice thing to someone else we would have less mean people in this world. If we all stood up and helped the neighbor next to you who then helped that neighbor and in the long run it would reach everyone in the world. This is what I am getting at our world is so full of hate and violence, look at your children do you want them growing up in a world full of hate or to grow up in a world full of love. It starts here and now you can make a difference actually the reality is everyone can make a difference. Start with a simple smile towards a stranger, even opening the door for someone. Trust me the world would be a better place if we all just lended a helping hand to others.